Your Words Can Kill Or Give Life. Your Choice

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. - Proverbs 18:21

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

One key skill of a leader is understanding and harnessing the power of words.

Your words can kill, or can give life. It can break people down and leave them mentally paralyzed, or build them up to feel invincible.

It can also help you achieve the impossible, or keep you from realizing your potential.

I speak from experience.

I used to be very critical with my words.

I tend to be something of a perfectionist, and people who work with me know enough not to bring half baked work to me.

Even when they have an issue, I like to see that they have made some attempt to think and try to solve the problem before escalating.

During a company get-together many years ago, one staff jokingly told a story of how he came to me with something and by the time I finished speaking with him, he felt so bad at his lack of thoroughness.

It taught him to do a better job going forward and he became better for it, however the memory of how small he felt never left him.

While we laughed about it, I realized deeply how powerful my words were as a leader.

Thankfully it turned out great for him, but there may be others who would get permanently scarred.

And what if I took same to my home with my wife or kids?

Part of my life's work has been to work on myself to achieve same results of growing people but being more intentional with my words.

Being authentic is not an excuse to be an inconsiderate ass.

Communication is not when you have spoken, it is when you are heard. It is a two way street.

I recall being so enamored as a child by a program I watched - Mr Donut Man - and a song performed there from the Bible:

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xE1SjacLVk

Throughout my life this verse has been something I have held on to.

Whenever I am under pressure, feel stressed or unsure what to do, I repeat this to myself over and over and derive strength from the words.

Truly, you can change the course of your life, your relationships, and your business with your words.

When we started Seamfix we always told potential clients that, "Difficult takes a day; Impossible takes a week."

I remember a wise saying that you should raise your word, not your voice. As it is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.

These days as I grow in my journey as a leader of almost 200 strong people in my company, I realise more and more that my job is to talk.

To inspire, to show direction, to build up, and to help clear any roadblocks.

Even at home, I recently started a practice of speaking life to my kids, praising them - not for doing their chores / homework, but for our family values when they show it.

For long my wife and I have preached a certain set of family values we all should embody.

I noticed that the more we acknowledged them for displaying those values, the more they did it freely without being cajoled.

Now, my mindset whenever I encounter any problem - even in business - is to first give thanks, for even being in the position to have that problem.

I don't claim to be perfect at it, but I am seeing the results.

Such a small mindset shift makes a big difference.

You should try it and see for yourself. 

Have a great week!

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