Preventing Unmet Expectations From Stealing Your Joy

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” - Paulo Coelho

“There is no joy involved in following others’ expectations of yourself.” - Miriam Toews

“Two things can destroy any relationship: unrealistic expectations and poor communication.” - Anonymous

This is the 25th Edition of the Taking Purposeful Action Newsletter. 

I appreciate you for coming along this ride with me.

I hope you have been inspired by my content to take deliberate action in your personal life, relationships or business.

On to the next 25!!! 

Expectations are our thoughts about the future, reality is what actually occurs.

Although we wish for them to match, they frequently do not, and this often causes feelings of discontentment and unhappiness. 

My McDonald's Disappointment

Growing up, I usually saw advertisements of McDonald's burgers on TV and they fascinated me.

Coming from a lower middle class family at the time, we rarely ate out, often only during special occasions like Christmas and Easter.

Also, burgers were not common in Nigeria, particularly in the kind of eateries my parents could afford to take us to.

Therefore when I finally got a chance to travel to the UK in my late twenties, I had burgers on my mind.

The first thing I did once I arrived was to find the nearest McDonald's for a meal.

Now the picture in my head from hundreds of TV images, were the burgers in the first row below.

The reality however when I was served at the restaurant, was the second row.

Few things have disappointed me in life as much as I felt that day. I felt cheated and robbed.

I had spent my entire childhood fantasizing about the Big Mac, the biggest of them all and I couldn't believe the look and size of what I was served.

Over a decade later, I have never looked at burgers the same since that day. And in fact, I'd rather eat any burger than a McDonald's.

I have McDonald's PTSD.

The Expectations vs. Reality Trap

A dangerous consequence of expectations is that you can become so attached to your expectations that you are unable to see the reality of a situation.

This can prevent you from taking action or making the right decision for your own benefit.

Also, it can prevent you from being grateful for what you have, be constantly unsatisfied and frustrated.

It can even make you less productive at work and affect your relationships with others negatively.

You get stuck comparing with others or what you could have had, breeding resentment and unhappiness.

What You Should Do Instead

1) Be aware of, and in control of your expectations in any situation.

Ask yourself what you should expect, and why.

Think about whether it is reasonable and realistic, or if you need to adjust your expectations.

If your expectations involved others, did you clearly communicate it to them, and are you sure they understood it?

2) Be grateful always.

Practice looking at the glass half full, rather than half empty.

In any situation, particularly those that don't turn out the way you expect, first look for the positives.

Are there any things that happened that are actually great? Celebrate them and be appreciative.

This mindset will help you put everything into perspective, and you will find it easier to let go, learn any lessons and move on.

 3) Avoid making comparisons

Remember that whatever you see about other people's lives is what they want to show you.

Even if you live with them, you don't know their true reality.

So social media, things friends say, etc are great. Be happy for them, but don't wish you were them.

You might not be able to handle their lives if you knew the reality.

Have an expectation free, stress free week ahead!

Cheers. 

PS: "No Expectations, No Disappointments”

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